THE GREAT INDIAN MAFIARAJ

‘Rules and regulations are meant to be broken’ – an adage, which by now, every literate and illiterate Indian citizen have adapted to consciously or subconsciously. Schools and colleges have also played a great role in helping one to imbibe the same in one form or the other. And then you have the natural nurturing environment back home, among family members or friends, in your professional lives, in relationships and so on. At every step, in your daily routine life, you indulge in breaking rules and regulations. It somehow gives you a ‘great kick’ – a feeling of immense satisfaction, a sense of euphoria, an incomparable achievement orientation.

The way, every individual strives to raise the bar in achieving a bigger goal, a greater fortune and a more comfortable lifestyle, similarly do we, raise the bar of bending rules to the extent that they are not broken, but gouged out from the very rule books in the most notorious manner.

The recent headlines on sand mafia in Gautam Budh Nagar district of UP and the suspension of SDM Durga Shakti Nagpal, add to a multitude of small and large scale conscious acts of ‘legalised crime’ over the decades, ever since licensing or other control mechanisms have been employed in any commercial system in India. The media has only glorified the so-called ‘rule breakers’ by branding them as Mafias - doing a greater favor of boosting their self-esteem to a higher pinnacle. So, let me also stick to the same term, only to extend its usage as a generic term for ‘a group of conscious law breakers with an intent to cause immense damage to public exchequer and public livelihood to attain their own selfish motives.’

Now that I have already generalized the term, let me enlist the different types of Mafia who are actively operating in India currently:

Political Mafias – A group of decrepit, old men, who subvert the common man’s conscience by the most inglorious means with an objective to stay in total power and control as the sole decision maker of the country’s future course of action. (example – Laloo Prasad Yadav, Sharad Pawar, etc.)

Corporate Mafias – A group of well groomed, white collar corporate big-wigs, who, in the name of selfless contribution and CSR, stack up hoard of money for their political bosses, in return favour of lucrative tenders, at quarter of a cost of the actual prices. (example – Mukesh Ambani, Anil Aggarwal, etc.)

Education Mafias – A group of ‘world-class’ institutions, which in the name of offering ‘a life-changing experience,’ change the lives of the students once and for all. These students finally seek respite by making their presence felt in another world, not frequented by mortal beings. In the meantime, these institutions make a lot of money, change more lives and continue to offer newer means to change many more lives. (example – IIPM, Sharda, Lovely Professional University)

Aam-admi Mafias – A group of people, with or without any political affiliation, generalized as the common man or aam-admi, enjoy the privilege of being represented by the most powerful political leaders, while they themselves take a lot of pride in quashing every possible rule on the streets, at the workplace, at home, at almost every conceivable place on earth. (example – seen in the mirror)

Bureaucratic Mafias – A group of highly educated, erudite individuals, who occupy the highest seats of governance, with little or no authority of their own. This breed enjoys getting recognized in the eyes of the aam-admi, by making a hell of their lives. (example – visit any government office to find one)

Defence Mafias – A group of individuals, vested with the authority and power to maintain the sovereignty of the homeland, enjoys flexing their muscles in building houses, orchards, resorts on properties of the state or stashing cash out of illegal sale of arms, ammunition or secret information. (example – there are many donning the olive greens)

Media Mafias – A group of institutions, a part of the 4 pillars of democracy, who likes to create breaking news to subdue/criticize someone or something at the behest of the political or corporate mafias. The mostly illiterate aam-admi mafias take onto the streets to protest, thereby helping the media mafias to gain more TRPs and their political/corporate bosses more mileage in the entire cycle of events. (example – Kolkata TV, News India, etc.)

Student Mafias – A group of individuals with bloated egos and high self-notion of worldly knowledge, who feel they are the next generation to look out for, when it comes to politics, corporate world or social sphere, takes pride in disrupting everything – from education to public life – at the slightest wink of the political mafias. Although they symbolize youth power, but the incumbent executive councils comprise mostly of grey-haired, forty somethings. (example – all college unions)

Social Service Mafias – A group of individuals from different walks of life, who desire to bring about a social change in different spheres – education, public policy, poverty alleviation, malnutrition, etc – but end up becoming cronies of the political or corporate mafias. Their ‘hand-in-glove’ approach to serve as the secret treasury of their political or corporate masters, have made them a safer bet for investments with higher RoI. (example – GIDF, SoS Village, etc)

Medical Mafias – A group of individuals or institutions in the profession of providing medical healthcare – doctors, hospitals, clinics, pharma companies – who can get subversive, while wrenching out money from your pockets, at the cost of providing world-class medical healthcare. Their blackmailing tactics, while sometimes subtle, are mostly loud and on the face. They are very closely networked with the political and corporate mafias as well. (example – Apollo, Max, Fortis, etc.)

'Aam' Chors (The Mango Thieves - a satirical play)

Characters

Monu's Gang

Monu

Sonu

Diggy

Sallu

Gadu's Gang

Gadu

Sushy

Jaitlu

Prasu

Keju

Mammo

Big Man at meeting

6-7 elderly men

3-4 kids

A brief introduction: This play is about 3 different groups of kids staying together in a colony called Bharat Nagar, located somewhere in Delhi. Two of these groups are bitter rivals, each headed by their leaders – Monu and Gadu. There has never been an instance when these two groups have met and they have not fought tooth and claw. Monu’s closest friends include Sonu (a cute little girl who has spent the first 7 years of her life abroad), Diggy (he loves digging his fingers in his nose quite often) and Sallu (he has been in class 6 since the past 2 years), while Gadu also has his own group of ‘yes’ men Prasu (son of a politician) and Jaitlu (son of a criminal lawyer) and his little sister Sushy (a girl of just 6 years with a husky voice). The third group is a neutral group, headed by Keju, liked by most of the elders in the colony because of their good behaviour. There is one more kid who stays in the colony – a loner and a snob – whom not many kids like to spend time with because of her very irritating nature of complaining, screaming and eccentric behaviour. Her name is Mammo, daughter of a scrap merchant.

Scene I

The play starts with Monu and Gadu having a fight on the street in the presence of their respective group of loyalists, all cheering their own bosses.

Gadu: Monu, I dare you… do not cross your limits and try to poke your long nose in our business.

Monu: Chal haat! Who are you to decide what I want to do. And no one dares to stop me in doing whatever I want…

Sonu: (Cheering for Monu and pumping her fist in the air) Monu, wah wah, wah wah…

Sushy: (Jeering at Sonu) Oye, you better keep away, when two men take the pitch!

Prasu & Jaitlu: Right, right!!

Godu: You stay away Sonu! You anyways do not have any right to interfere… you illegal migrant!

Monu: How dare you tell her illegal migrant?? She is as legal a citizen as you and me…

Diggy & Sallu: Very right… she is more legally here, than you and us!

Sushy: Ha, ha!! I never knew there would be so much fan following for our dear little Sonu. (Sushy makes faces at Sonu, while Prasu & Jaitlu boos her).

(From the background comes the scream of a girl, who shouts out in Bangla – Cholbe na, cholbe na. Everyone turns around in surprise to find a small little girl with a pony and a tattered white frock entering the scene with some twigs and grass blades in her hands. Enters Mammo. Everyone looks for cover with a frown on their faces).

Mammo: Cholbe na, cholbe na… (she playfully throws the twigs and the grass blades on the gathering around)

Sonu: What the hell Mammo!

Diggy: Why do you throw these on us?

Jaitlu: Are you out of your senses?

Mammo: Cholbe na, cholbe na…

Sushy: What ‘cholbe na’? Kuch to bata bhai!

Mammo: (Pointing a finger at both Monu and Gadu, Mammo cries out) Both of you are fools to befriend me… cholbe na, cholbe na!

Monu: Arre Mammo, who says so? You are still our friend.

Gadu: Yes, yes, you are still my friend.

Mammo: Cholbe na, Cholbe na… (and she runs out of stage, in the same frantic way, the way she had entered)

Everyone looks at each other. By now, their fight and anger has stopped. The light dims.

Scene II

Keju’s house. Scene of a sitting room with sofas, chairs and a coffee table in the centre. A carom is kept on the coffee table. Keju is playing carom with 3 other friends of his. Keju’s mother walks in with 2 platefuls of peeled ripe mango. The friends dig in and relish the taste.

Keju: Wah Aam!! Itna mitha rasila aam… (he thinks for a few seconds and says) Every Indian should have aam and only aam. This aam will be the binding force for one and all in this country of diverse caste, culture and religions…

Keju’s loyalists clap and speak out in one tone – Wah, wah!!

Keju: These aam are the fodder for my brain. I have got some great ideas! I have been planning for quite some time to keep both Monu and Gadu in their skins. They have become too notorious lately, plucking out all the raw mangoes in the mango orchards, leaving the people with no option but to switch to bananas or pears. I have a plan, come here, let me share it with you…

(all huddle around Keju and Keju speaks something in a low voice, while the light dims)

Scene III

A street scene. Monu, Sonu, Diggy and Sallu have gathered around a corner chatting. Suddenly two small kids come running from nowhere and hurl some mangoes at the group and run away, equally fast.

Monu: Huh! What was that?

Sallu: (Pointing a finger to the direction where the kids disappeared) Those kids threw mangoes at us!

Diggy: I know them very well, they are not aam kids - are a part of the Keju gang. I am sure Gadu’s group has asked them to do so… those morons, always looking for opportunities to dirty us with their dirty antics.

Sonu: Hmmm… Monu bhaiya, we should report this to the elders.

Monu: As you say!

(Mammo’s voice is heard in the background - Cholbe na, Cholbe na. All kids scamper for cover)

Mammo: Arrey, where did they disappear? Why is it that no one plays with me? Cholbe na, cholbe na… (Mammo exits and the light dims)

Scene IV

A street scene. Gadu and his group - Sushy, Jaitlu and Prasu are hanging around a lamp-post, having a laugh at something. Diggy passes them from a distance. Gadu looks at him and attempts to chase him, but Diggy runs away. The group laughs out at Diggy and mimics his running.

Gadu: Ha, ha, ha… that Diggy is a real mess. He cant even run straight and wants to take panga with us!!

Sushy: Arre Gadu, one day we will catch hold of him separately and give him a knock of his lifetime… he calls himself Diggy Raja!! Ha, ha, ha…

Before Sushy could have finished, two kids came from the background carrying a plastic bag and hurled some 3-4 ripe mangoes at the group and vanish.

Prasu: Arre, what was that?

Jaitlu: I thought bombs…

Sushy: It must be Diggy only, he must have heard us laugh on him.

Gadu: But I know those kids… they are not aam kids, they are a part of Keju’s gang. Ah, so Monu and his team must have used them against us.

Sushy: Gadu, we should report this to the elders.

(Suddenly from the background, there is the typical hoarse voice of Mammo, Cholbe na, Cholbe na. Hearing Mammo approaching them, the group looks for cover and runs out of the scene. Mammo enters)

Mammo: Arre, these guys have also abandoned me? Cholbe na, cholbe na…

Scene V

A meeting in progress. There are elders attending a meeting of the residents’ welfare association. Enters Monu’s group from one side and Gadu’s group from another side.

Sushy: I am sorry to barge in like this, but I have to state something.

Diggy: Nehi, we need to speak first.

Gadu: How dare you!! (Turning back at the audience, he speaks out in a complaining tone) They have been throwing all sorts of aam-s at us.

Sonu: That’s a complete lie. In fact they have been doing that. They have used Keju’s boys to target us and dirty us in broad day light on open streets!! (She starts sobbing, Monu embraces her and tries to pacify her)

Jaitlu: I have evidence to prove that it is their act of misdeed and they have used Keju’s guys. In fact Keju’s group is the B-team of these loafers here.

Sallu: Huh! Just listen to their lies… haven’t you guys been targeting us and picking up a fight with us? You are a lot of incorrigible bandits.

Diggy: Yes, they are the ones to have engaged Keju’s guys, not us.

Prasu: Liar, liar… (all kids now speak out) – liar, liar.

A person with a big torso stands up and tries to separate the kids, who by now have almost got into a fight. Another person with a deep voice barks out…

Big Man: Shut up! You bunch of rascals, always fighting among yourselves. In fact today we had convened this meeting to resolve on how to stop your stupid pranks once and for all. You guys are a big shame for us and your parents… (he looks up over the head of others and motions someone to come towards him. Enters Keju in a white kurta-payjama and with a big smile on his face!)

Keju: Namaste!

Big Man: Keju, thank you for getting these ruffians up over here. Had you not been there, then we would not have got to know that they have all been stealing mangoes from the orchard. We will take strict actions against them…

Keju: Uncleji, this is not the only thing that they do… they have also been removing the bulbs from the street lamps, beating the street dogs away, scaring off the old people out for their evening or morning walks… and I have all the evidence with me. (He reaches out deep in his side bag and takes out a handful of papers). See, I have also collected statements from people who have complaints against them and have also clicked pictures of their misdeeds. They are the ones, who had attached the gardeners Bholu-bhaiya and the house-maid, Kanta bai and have abused the dhobi, Laluram.

Big Man: These are a lot too many accusations on you all. You all need to pay for it. (Turning to the other elderly people sitting in audience). So, I put it upto the house to decide what punishment to be given to these kids. (There was a loud murmur, some shouted – they should be punished, while some shouted – their parents should send them to boarding school, away from here, while some favored the kids – they are just kids!!)

Big Man: I think, we have all discussed among ourselves what to be done with them. The accusations against them are quite significant and cannot be ignored. So how many of you are in favor of punishing them? (Majority raises their hands) So we reach a consensus that punishment is what they all deserve. Anyone having any objection can speak now…

Even before he has finished speaking, Mammo’s voice was heard from the background – Cholbe na, cholbe na… Mammo enters.

Mammo: Cholbe na, Cholbe na…

Keju: Hello Mammo, what happened?

Mammo: Cholbe na, cholbe na… they cannot be punished.

Keju: But why?

Mammo: Because, because… Cholbe na, cholbe na…

Keju: That’s your problem, you know. You have no answer to anything and the only thing you say is Cholbe na, cholbe na. No one can make anything out of that.

Mammo: Well, I want to reveal something. Actually, I have also been a party to their pranks. Whenever they used to steal the mangoes from the orchard, I used to steal some from their kitty as well. And they never got to know about it!!

Prasu: You… I always knew you are not to be trusted.

Sonu: We used to wonder where did our mangoes disappear. And I used to think it was Sushy’s work – that little brat!

Big Man: Will you guys hold on! Listen to your punishments now. Sonu and Sushy, you guys would be helping the slum kids with their studies for the next 2 months, every evening. Diggy and Jaitlu, you are going to help all the senior citizens with their errands from the market for the next 6 months. Sallu and Prasu, you are going to supervise a cleanliness drive in the colony over the next 6 months. Finally, Monu and Gadu, you two would be guarding the mango orchard for 4 hours everyday, once you are back from school, for the next 6 months.

Everyone in the audience cheers. The kids put up a frown. They turned around with their heads down and started to move out of stage. The Big Man asks them to stop and turns around towards Keju and addresses him.

Big Man: Keju, since you have been a great help for all of us here, there is a reward from all of us. You will be entrusted to lead this entire pack. They have to report to you and you need to certify their performance at the end of the 6 months. And yes, if they are found good performers, they would certainly be rewarded.

All the kids now got back their smile.

All kids together: Yeah!! We will certainly work hard!

All the elders stand up to cheer the kids and the light dims.

End of play

Kejriwal is not just another aam admi!!

RK Laxman's
'The Common Man'

The setting is apt for the rise of the Great Indian Common Man (in our very own RK Laxman ishtyle... or should I say like Naseeruddin Shah's - phata poster, nikla hero!!). Jokes apart, there have been many a 'shool-veers' who had tried to question the incorrigible Indian political system in their own ways, but a very few have actually walked that extra mile the way Arvind Kejriwal, former IRS officer, anti-coruption activist turned politician and leader of India Against Corruption (IAC), have treaded in his short innings so far. He could have continued playing second fiddle (although he was the chief strategist) to his more popular mentor Anna Hazare in mobilising all the hunger strikes till eternity without any assurance of results and that's when he decided otherwise - to become the pied piper himself - quite a daunting and uphill challenge for this 5ft. 5 inch 'short' aam-admi.

His courage, conviction, determination and game-plan, need to be given due credit, if not for anything else but for the character he showed to move out of the shadow of Anna - a Gandhian in true spirit, practitioner of ahimsa and satyagraha and a staunch believer of staying apolitical - and declaring his plunge into active politics. He did realise that to be in Rome, one needs to do the way the Romans do (and in Indian politics, to check mate the king, you need to do that in the garb of a politician only!).

Is Mr. Vadra looking a bit
angry, tensed and perplexed?

And what a better way to start his political campaign, than to reach out to the public at large (this strategy of his needs to be applauded and appreciated - it has been a complete turnaround from his previous satyagraha mode, wherein the target group was pulled towards him; his currently employed push strategy helping him reach out farther) and increasing his connect with the aam-admi. He announced his arrival at the political scene by dropping a huge bomb - more like the US airforce's daisy cutter used in the Afghan war - and created a huge crater full of intimidating political bickering and debate on the nexus between Robert Vadra, DLF and the congress ruled government of Haryana. Whether it was a master-stroke or not, would be left to be seen in the coming days, but undoubtedly, what he has done is that he has opened a Pandora's box which many never dared to (Robert Vadra's ascent financially or otherwise has been seen quite suspiciously by many - opposition, media, aam admi, but no one dared to raise a voice ever, given his political clout). Along with the heavy artillery, he decided to employ light infantry attacks from the flanks, by taking up the cause of the aam admi against the inflated power and water bills in Delhi. He was also seen climbing up the electricity poles to restore power connections, disconnected by discoms after consumers defaulted on the payments (although it's yet another story about how and why the bills got inflated!!) 

His actions in the past couple of weeks have given him a lot of visibility and the much required goodwill among his target votebank for sure, but what needs to be seen in the coming days, months and years are - whether he can create an equal impact pan India or not, whether he can stir up the conscience of people across the length and breadth of the country or not, whether he really wants to achieve utilitarian goals or ride on mere populist agenda like just another aam-admi turned politico and whether he can translate his political mandate into achievable and measurable results. The coming days would be very crucial for Kejriwal, as his every move would be followed closely by political outfits of every shade (red, green, blue, saffron, etc) and by millions of aam admi. He would eat up a lot of air-time and newsprint space for sure, which we can only pray, should not go in vain.

A leader needs to don
different 'thinking hats'!

He should not end up becoming just another archaeologist who digs out prized memorabilia only for the sake of winning recognition for his competence, rather he should act like a good sales man to sell his find to the highest bidder - the aam admi - and then ensure that it has added a value chain for one and all. He should necessarily be as much ruthless as possible to people proved corrupt and should also ensure choosing his friends and colleagues with a lot of caution. Many may start comparing him with the Krishna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, fighting for the cause of dharma, but a Krishna (an avatar of Lord Vishnu, immortal in all the three worlds) was also mortified by many around and was killed by a diminutive, harmless looking arrow shot from the bow of an equally unimportant character, who is introduced in the last chapter of Mahabharata. The bugle has been blown and the arrows have started flying all around hitting targets - newer targets have been promised by Kejriwal (today's newspaper also had Salman Khurshid targeted - ToI, 11th Oct 2012) and many more would be hit by the time you have finished reading this article.

Are we?

I am not very sure of how strong a vote-bank Kejriwal promises to create or whether he can actually uphold himself as an alternative. But a political party cannot be just another one-man show. It has to be democratic to the extent that any decision taken needs to be debated and deliberated among a central committee. We have seen many such politicians who have run a one man political regime (how can we forget the current Mamata government in Bengal or the former Maya regime of UP) and the group of sycophants around them. We, as aam admis can only hope for the best alternatives to govern us, lead us and take care of us, without diluting national interests while framing foreign affairs and defence policies. We probably would not reach the European standard of living in the next 20 years (it may take 2 more generations before it happens), but at least we can aspire for a cleaner, more transparent and intent-driven governance within the next 10-15 years.

Kejriwal tum aagey baaro, aam admi tuhmahe saath hain!! Jain Hind.

What ails the mango man??

(This blog-post was waiting to be posted for over 2-months (around May-June), and hence, reference to certain thoughts/ideas are time-bound - kindly ignore the same)

The 'mango man' (read: aam admi) is today in great dilemma!! The green, yellow, red 'aam'-s out there in the market, are beyond his arm's length! Affording these 'aam'-s is no more 'aam-baat'... and hence, the 'aam'-s find their place of glory on the tables of the not-so-aam janta (read: the people who can afford them). Huh! That's the state of affairs for almost anything in today's socio-political-economic environment in India. On one side we have the netas, trying their level best in getting everything away from the aam-admi, leaving behind the 'chilkas' and 'gutlis', while we have the civil society representatives who have made 'Bhu-hartals' an aam-affair. Luckily with Navratri on, Anna ji did find pleasant company in Jantar Mantar during his stage-show, while the Yoga Guru, Baba Ramdev ensured that no aam-admi goes to bed empty stomach, beyond 2 days of fasting (till the time the cops decided to feed the aam-admi-s at Ramdev's camp with the taste of 'danda'.)
Now, what options are left for these poor 'aam-admi'-s? Nothing much, except for them to pray hoping that  next year there will be a bumper crop - so that the aam-s can make way to their dinner tables as well (sic!)